I know this post is going to come off sounding negative, but I need to vent…
I didn’t get the job.
It was a week ago that I found out what happened.
Someone who was occasionally filling in had a phone conversation with the person I interviewed with. He got the job. Plain and simple.
I have worked so hard. So, so hard for over four years to make a college degree happen. I have interned in news, created, produced and directed my own program. I have done almost everything imaginable in making a TV show. I have written and directed a film.
Why… why do I get passed up for jobs? Why don’t I get hired? Why does the job market have to suck so much?
Sometimes I feel as if life has me shackled down.
Now for the real misery: I had to take a job in the interim, right? Well, it’s at a fucking Target store. That’s right, a Target store. So, for the past four months, I have been spat upon and walked on by customers and superiors alike. And, I’ve hated every damn minute of it. It’s been pure hell, pure misery and pure suffering all rolled into one.
I have been battling depression. I have never felt so miserable in my life. I feel as if I’m back where I was before I started college. Someone whose life doesn’t matter, who will always get walked on by people who think they’re better than you, and someone who won’t amount to anything.
I know what you guys will say: you can change that. Well, I’m trying. But the world won’t let me change.